Virtual Date

I typed the message and sent it to her. She read the message. But she did not reply anything. I have been waiting for her reply since one minute. This one minutes seemed like hours. And everything flashed back in this one minute.

The Past

Let me first introduce my family. Basically we are Sharma’s. You might have heard about us in Parents’ conversation with their children. Most Indian middle class parents use our surname to compare us with their child making us the superlative ones.

But with me it is totally different or rather totally opposite. My father compares me with every other child in my neighborhood or anyone who just pass by me, showing how incapable of any x, y, z etc. etc. thing I was. My marks were good according to me, but my parents wanted more. I tried hard in sports but I came second last or last. I took part in competitions but never got even a consolation prize. Not that I never gave my best, I did my best in every way but the results were never satisfying in the eye of my parents. My board’s results were out and I passed with flying 76 percentile.  But I failed by almost 24 percentile to make my parents happy.  Somehow I managed to take science in a government college. Since the first day of my high school I was ordered to aim for “IIT” one of the prestigious institute in India. Trust me I tried my level best. I even compromised my teenage life for that IIT. I studied day and night. I skipped birthday parties, did not go movies, skipped Sunday programs just to pass IIT and make my parents happy. But guess what? I did not clear IIT. My parent loss all hope on me.

During the whole process I became an introvert. I loved staying alone. Most of the time, I would spent browsing through Internet. I opened a fake account. I was a cool guy on that fake social media. I started loving that fake life. I posted about songs, PC games, my view point on latest gadgets, latest fashion etc. etc. that made me sound cool. I was everything in that virtual world that I was not in real world. I had no courage to post through my real account, which had zero post.

I made a confession page “Message to Juliet” where people could confess about anything and I would reply being Juliet. Initially there were no views. So I posted and replied on my own.

I got admission in a private college and took Bachelor in computer application. I tried being cool with few cool friends. But I was geek-zoned. First semester ended. I was the topper of the batch. But this marks meant nothing to my parents, as it was not IIT.

By now my page was a little popular among my batch mates. And none of my friends knew that I was admin of that page. I loved replying to them. It made me feel superior.

I was the only one in the class of 30 students, who knew everyone’s deep and dark secret. Who cheated whom, who was playing double game, who was wearing a good mask in front of teacher, I knew everything. When I was with them in class, I felt like I was reading mind. How can people be genuine fake? I was happy I was not part of that fake world. Oops!! I had a fake account.

I was in my last semester. And my page had one million followers just in two and half year. Replying to every message was not possible. I replied to only those messages which seemed interesting to me. Few times I would end up without any reply. I did not have any reply to question like ‘how overcome this break up?’ How would I reply? I never had a break up. And before break up I had to be in a relation. Few followers would abuse me. It was obvious. I have already learned how to ignore anything.

It was my last semester. We had only two periods in a day. Someday both the teacher would remain absent and we had a great time, where I preferred returning back home. By 12 o clock our classes got over.

Rest of the day I would seat in front of my laptop developing my college project and replying to people’s message, specially the love ones.  One such fine day a message caught my attention. It was from one of my junior from second semester. Geeta.

The message goes like this

Hi Juliet, I am attracted to this guy of my college. He is my senior. The first day I saw him he seemed weird. He stayed alone. He did not socialize with his friends. I have never seen him with any of his friends. He is not that kind of guy who can attract you in first look. Later in my class I got to know from our teacher that he is topper of the college. Raghu. Next time I saw him in canteen. While ordering food he smiled at the canteen boy. That one smile just took my heart away. He stole my heart that very moment. I don’t know why I loved his smile. First I thought it was just an attraction. But I kept on thinking about him. In college after every class ends I would pass by near his classroom just to get a sight of him. If somehow I don’t see him, I would become impatient. Until and unless I see him I could not concentrate on anything. I searched him in every social media but could not find him. Since he does not involve in socialization, I don’t know how to talk with him. Please help me Juliet.

I re read the message again and again. I could not believe my eyes. I pinched myself to know whether I was seeing some dream. It was not a dream. I searched her in social media. She was beautiful. Every picture had a smile on it. I immediately started liking her.

Never was I so excited to see a confession. But the difficult part was to reply. First time I had no idea what to reply. I typed few words and deleted again. It took me three hours to think and give a reply. How smart reply it was, I had no idea.

Hey, so if you don’t approach him and express your feeling definitely you will lose him. But if you talk to him and tell your feeling, may be you will have a 1% chance to be in his life. But don’t say everything in first meet. First be friend with him. Talk to him. Know him. And when you feel that it’s time to express your feeling then go ahead.

Hope to hear positive from you!

I was excited for the next day. I could see her crossing me several times. Finally at canteen she said Hi. Now it was like I was reading her mind. I knew why she was taking to me. She was more beautiful than her pictures. And smart too. Beauty with brain.

I tried so hard to control my smile. Slowly we became friends. We exchanged numbers. We chatted day and night. I got to know her habits, her favorite fruits, song, colour, food everything. Two months passed. I was so engaged with her that I gave very less time in my page. And one day I got her second message.

Hey Juliet,

Your suggestion worked. We are now friends. He is introvert with the society. But with me he is totally a different person. But now what? Should I tell him my feelings? But why should I? I feel he too likes me. I am so confused. To be honest I am disparate to tell to him.  But I am scared that I might lose him. Suggest me what to do.

Geeta.

I loved the fact that she was in love with me. I too have started loving her. She was special to me. Rather I would say she made me feel special. The way she looked at me, I just go speechless. I would definitely say yes if she proposes me. But as she said why she should express first, I decided to take this virtual game a little longer.

I replied

Dear Geet,

It’s good to hear positive from you. Now you can take it to a next step. When you meet him next, hold his hand. While laughing pinch his cheek. Be close to him. Boys like such kind of act. Make him feel want for you. You will see he will become disparate for you. And soon he will propose you.

Juliet.

I became excited for the next day. I could not sleep that night. I tossed from one side to another. I reached college by 8 O’clock. I could not wait long to feel her touch. We would be holding hand. At first I would resist. But later I would hold her hand. My imagination was at different level. I would allow it to go for few more days and then I will propose her. Whether she proposes or I propose it’s same. What matters is we will stay together. This is my last semester. After that I will get some job. And when she finishes her study I will be settle in my life. If she wants to do job she will do, else we will get marry. I blushed at my own imagination. It was 9’O clock. She did not reach college. I bunked my class. I went to canteen. I tried calling her. But she did not receive my phone. It made me worried. She never did this. Even if she was busy she would text me that she was busy. Bad thoughts came to my mind. But I could do nothing. I went home that day at 2 pm.

The Present

I saw her typing. And the message flashed. It was a message of just two alphabets. ‘NO’. Everything seemed stopped for me. For the long message I typed she just replied one word containing two alphabets. I cracked my knuckles prepared to type. But I did not find any words to type. I checked the time. It was 11 am. I was ready to move out of my house.

Yesterday

I lied down for few minutes thinking why she did not answer my call. I turned on my computer and opened my Facebook page. Due to some network issue it took some time to load the page. I went to freshen up. When I returned back I saw a message from Geeta.

Hi,

Your last message was thrilling. While I was re-reading it gave me goose bumps. I was imagining how I would hold his hand. How I would move around college campus and our friends would tease us as couple. First we would hide from everyone and slowly friends would come to know. We would go on date. The more I thought about it the more my heart beat rose. I imagined the would-be situation a million of times in my mind. I imagined it in different places, in different ways. I was smiling. I almost decided I would propose him he would say ‘I love you too Geet.’. As I thought about his reply my smile vanished. I opened your page and read your reply. I was broken. I felt cheated. I felt like someone played a very well game with me. I recalled hundreds of time, but could not find one else who greeted me as Geet. All my friends called me Geeta. But still a part of me does not want to believe my mind. Is it you? Do tell me the truth. I hope it is not true. But if it is, then never talk to me again.

Geet/Geeta

I did make the biggest mistake of my life. Rather would say a crime. How could I have done that stupidity? No I just can’t lose her like this. She is the most precious person in my life. I can’t let her go. But what should I do now. I did lie. But I had no bad intention. I wanted her in my life. But yes I was a little selfish to be playful. I don’t know what is right or wrong but one thing I know is that I have to tell the truth. But what if she leaves me? Should I lie that it was just a co-incidence or typing mistake. But till when this will continue? It will forever remain as a burden in my heart. What if in later life she comes to know the truth? She will tag me as a liar. Whatever it takes I can’t build a relationship on the basis of lie.

All this thought gave me a headache. It was 1 O’clock in the midnight. Instead of typing in the Facebook page I WhatsApp the message.

I typed the message and sent it to her. She read the message. But she did not reply anything. I have been waiting for her reply since one minute. This one minutes seemed like hours. And everything flashed back in this one minute.

I did not sleep. I was staring at the mobile. She did not reply and went offline. In between I fell asleep. But I woke up with juddering. I unlocked the mobile. Still there was no sign of her. I did not want to call and disturb her. I decided to wait and be patience.

I woke up late. After freshening up I took the mobile. I decided to wait for her reply and if it does not come by 11 am I would go to her home. But luckily she typed. Just two alphabets. NO. I re read my message to be sure what her NO meant.

Hey,

I won’t type a long message to annoy you. You might be sleeping. Yes it was my page. It was me who replied you. I know I did wrong. But my intention was not wrong. I have been staying all alone, away from people. I was and am a loser. Since my childhood I have only been a loser. I never got good marks in school. I never won anything in sports. People stay away from me. Nobody was my friend until you happened to my life. And the best moment for me when you messaged to that page. As if my page was blessed finally. I had no idea what to do. I never ever talked to any girl. Except for my cousins and few time when my classmates wanted some notes from me. How do you expect me to respond to that message? How could I lose you? So I went with the flow without thinking about the consequences. And finally that happed which I was scared of. I know I did wrong. But all I did because I love you lot. I want in you my life. I am already a loser in my life. If I have to lose you, than I won’t have any meaning in my life. It would be better that I die. Please forgive me and give once chance in your life. With your support I can win the world. Even if I can’t win, I would get courage to face the world. I have come from the darkest night of my life; I met you as sunshine in my life. Now again don’t push me to that darkness. Will you let me leave in the darkness? I will wait for your reply.

Your and always will be yours

Love

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